Living in what I once prayed for

I had everything I once dreamed of, yet it wasn’t enough.

When my knee injury basically ended my dreams and my career, I had nothing left to do but pray. I prayed for guidance, redirection, and God’s provision. I had a new dream: enter a prestigious college, become a successful entrepreneur, and learn everything I couldn’t while I played soccer.

I cried tears of joy when I was accepted into Emory University, a top-25 university, and I genuinely couldn’t wait to attend. I excitedly counted down the minutes until the day I left Seattle for Atlanta. Upon landing in the long-awaited city, I read the “Welcome to Atlanta” sign with great expectations for what was to come. Orientation week was fun, I met fabulous friends, and what I had dreamed of became a reality.

Yet soon I was drowning in classes, research, studies, and personal goals. The overwhelming schedule overtook the excitement I once had. My days became burdensome, and I no longer looked forward to them. There were so many moments when I genuinely just wanted to go back home to the comfortable luxury I once lived in. In those moments I completely forgot about my answered prayers.

I feel like, as people, it’s so easy to focus only on the negatives and disregard all the positives in our lives. I had everything I once dreamed of, yet it wasn’t enough. It was like constantly climbing a peakless mountain for the “better” view. The fact that I could wake up and study without having to worry about being in danger or having to work was a blessing by itself, yet my mind only saw the cup as half empty.

It’s easy to think about all the things we lack, but in reality, being in a position to even reflect on our own difficulties already highlights the privilege we live in. It’s completely understandable to struggle, because life can get really difficult. But our circumstances shouldn’t be what defines our living. Rather, it’s how we choose to act in the little moments. On our long walks to class, in the dull moments doing homework, or while learning from our mistakes, we can choose to groan or to smile. And once we recall how much of the life we are living now is what we once dreamed of, and what others still dream of, we naturally gravitate toward the latter.